literature

Ripe but Fallen

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SirRantsALot's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

They say little girls are made of
sugar,
      spice,
             and everything nice.


Sugar is lost on you, turning into rot and decay.
     Spice is wasted on you, a zest spoiling and overpowering.
           Everything nice seems absent from your mind, for your actions and words are that of a fiend.

Little girl no longer,
are you happy to be mature?
   are you happy to be an adult?
       are you happy to be noticed?

Because you are no nearer to the respect you desired in achieving any and all.
Feeling better about the death of my teacher, figured I'd been neglecting other bad feelings that were getting in the way of actual moving on. So a rant in a poem. A ripe fruit that has fallen from the tree is bruised and more likely to spoil.
© 2013 - 2024 SirRantsALot
Comments7
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prettyflour's avatar
Hey there,

Prettyflour here on behalf of :iconpoeticalcondition: with the critique you requested.

I LOVE this poem! The way you’ve taken the ‘sugar and spice’ and turned it into something completely opposite of everything nice is very, very cool.

The only thing that tripped me up is in this line: Everything nice seems absent from your mind, for your actions actions and words are that of a fiend. You’ve got the word ‘actions’ doubled up. Typo? Other than that, I think this is wonderful- going in my favs for sure!