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literature
Let Down
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Literature Text
On a day of expectations (when I only have a few)
I wish more than anything
for them to be fulfilled by you.
To feel the surge of gratitude (warming you who is by my side)
from the aid that you have given me
even from the thought that you have tried.
So when I give out those orders (and they are not obeyed)
I feel like I am sinking
and am just a little betrayed.
I wish more than anything
for them to be fulfilled by you.
To feel the surge of gratitude (warming you who is by my side)
from the aid that you have given me
even from the thought that you have tried.
So when I give out those orders (and they are not obeyed)
I feel like I am sinking
and am just a little betrayed.
![Siren on the Sea - [OPEN]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/85402926-1786-47c5-aa82-d6f2e29275dd/dgm3uik-da6edc7a-bb8f-4062-8124-b82ef3b853fc.jpg/v1/fill/w_311,h_400,q_70,strp/siren_on_the_sea____open__by_dnataoai_dgm3uik-400t.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.LDGcwNhwVqS7W7xhxQIH2rYjpiOIRwzS4bilbIjz0UQ)
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Wrote this a while ago, thought I'd share.
© 2013 - 2024 SirRantsALot
Comments3
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This is wonderful. 
Excellent job with your words and your rhyme scheme. My only suggestion, and it's slight, is to not use the parenthesis, and instead, just turn what's in them into other lines. See, so you'll just have four lines in those three stanzas, instead of having three and one inside parenthesis. See what I mean? I think it'll add to the flow. Other than that, great work!!! 
Excellent job with your words and your rhyme scheme. My only suggestion, and it's slight, is to not use the parenthesis, and instead, just turn what's in them into other lines. See, so you'll just have four lines in those three stanzas, instead of having three and one inside parenthesis. See what I mean? I think it'll add to the flow. Other than that, great work!!!